How to buy juice: A step by step guide

1.  Raid husband’s wallet, because you only have big bills and there is no way the lady in the shop will make change.

2.  Spend five minutes walking down one flight of stairs – because Isla thinks she’s so big.

3.  Walk past the butcher and stop to meow at the cat inside the shop begging for scraps of meat.

4.  Get noticed by the butcher who cuts up scraps of meat and gives them to Isla to feed to the stray cat. (EWW!)

5.  Stand and watch cat eat the icky, bloody, raw meat and encourage it with “meow…  num num num…  BITES!”

6.  Proceed to small shop to pick out one bottle of juice.

7.  Get scolded by lady for not dressing your toddler in enough clothes (“Her hands are freezing!  Put more clothes on her!”)

8.  Try not to cringe as man with cigarette in one hand gives your little girl a hug.

9.  Leave store with bottle of juice and free lollipop for the baby.

10.  Take away lollipop as soon as you leave eyesight of shopkeepers.

11.  Stop and watch cat who is still eating the icky meat.  “Meow, meow… num num num… BITES!”

12.  Spend five minutes climbing the stairs, because again, Isla is so big.


And that is how you buy a bottle of juice.


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