The Mommy Wars

I breastfed Isla for nearly two years and hope to go at least as long with Ruby.  We use disposable diapers.  I make our own baby food and we don’t start solids until six months old.  Isla had ice cream for lunch the other day.  I baby wear.  Our babies sleep in their own beds in our room until they sleep through the night.  We sleep trained Isla when she was six months, and will do the same with Ruby if we need to.  Isla is still rear-facing in her car seat at 2.5 years.  Sometimes we give her the iPod to play with just so we can make her be quiet.

Have you labeled me yet?  Judged me for any of those choices?

If you have spent any time with any other moms lately, you know that most of these are hot-topic issues.  And if you’ve spent any time in any kind of online parenting forum, group, website or blog, you know these issues can bring out some terrible name-calling, judgments and just a lot of junk.

I’m in a breastfeeding support group on facebook.  The ladies are amazingly kind and supportive.  When I was discouraged with some feeding issues Ruby was having, they were quick to jump to my aide and encourage the mess out of me.  And yet at the same time, other posts pop up that are so judgmental and mean, tearing down other parents for the decisions that they make.

I’ll admit, I’ve made my fair share of judgments.  Even though it’s only in my mind and not something I would ever say out loud, I’ve judged.  But deep down, I know that these parents I’m secretly judging really love their kids and are doing their darndest to make the best decisions that they can for their families.  Formula vs. breast, sleep training and parenting styles are definitely not something I am willing to fight with other mamas about.  Being a mom is hard enough without having to feel like you have to defend every choice you make.

I’m sure many of you have seen this blog post already… as it currently has 29,000 likes on facebook (mine included! :))… but I wanted to post it here because it is awesome.  Powerful.  And so very true.  It’s one of those posts that you read and you go, “yes, that is exactly what I’ve been thinking but didn’t quite know it and never could have said it so well.”  If you haven’t read it yet, read it now:

“When it comes to issues of motherhood, there is one issue I care about: some kids don’t have one.”

And then I hope you seriously consider what you can do about it.  If you are interested in an organization to support that helps at-risk kids, I have a long list of people/orgs that I am personally aware besides our own girls’ home that I’m happy to pass along! :)


One thought on “The Mommy Wars

  1. Wonderful! I feel the same.I get so angry but also sad about the Mommy Wars. I really dislike that as moms we will sometimes tear each other apart for our ideals instead of just being kind and loving to each other and accept each other for where we are in life, accept each others capabilities and disabilities.

    I love the pictures of your family so beautiful!! Happy Mother’s Day!!

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