– You pee on the stick and immediately gain ten pounds.
– You start wearing maternity clothes at about 8 weeks.
– By month 5, people are already asking if you are close to giving birth.
– With your first, you knew how far along you were to the day. Second was to the month. With #3 you are doing well if you actually remember your due date.
– Monthly bump pics? Nah, you only take a pic of your belly when you start feeling so guilty about being halfway through your pregnancy with no pictures of the baby bump.
– You are 7 months along and haven’t bought anything yet. Baby boy won’t really mind pink towels and bedding, right?
– The chart you used to meticulously track your weight gain with numbers 1 and 2 has only two entries in it. And they are probably wrong.
– You beg your doctor not to make you come in every three weeks and stretch it to five if possible. I mean, really, what is the point of so many appointments?
– All those appointments? Yeah, your husband hasn’t been to a single one this time around.
– Your only fear about labor and delivery is having the baby in the car on the way to the hospital (my plan if we are stuck in traffic? Flag down any scooter and hitch a ride. I am NOT having a baby on Hamra street!!!)