Ruby-isms

Ruby-isms

One night we were having a discussion about our family rules.  I asked the girls, “what are some of our family rules?
Isla: No shooting.  Oh, I know!  No opening the door to strangers
Ruby:  No opening the door to bears!

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Ruby’s prayer one night: Thank you for Jesus dying on the cross all the children of the world so high little star.  (???)

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“I’m not a lazy butt.  I’m Elizabeth Ruby butt.”

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Ruby gets in trouble for being silly instead of focusing on eating her dinner.
Ruby: I’m making you laugh.
Me: But Ruby, that isn’t funny.
Ruby: I’m making mineself laugh!

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Ruby’s version of the advent story…
“Mary married a young carpenter named Jofus.”
“…and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in the pot.”

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Ruby: What are blessings?
Me:  Good things that God gives us.
Ruby: Like dirt?

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Look at the beautiful clouds!  Quick, before they pop!

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Caleb: What were some blessings God gave you this week?
Ruby: Like AH-CHOO!!??

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Isla says

Isla says

I love that show Kids Say the Darndest Things.  Isla would be perfect for it… except that she’s ridiculously shy and definitely wouldn’t answer a strange man’s questions, especially if it involved video cameras.

A few of her latest…

“Boys don’t have to wipe when they go potty.  And some girls have short hair and they don’t wipe.”

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We were having a conversation about how a dog would love to live in our house to eat all the food that falls onto the floor at dinnertime.  “I drop a lot of food and the calculators come and get it!”

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“I can’t reach really high.  We need Jesus.”

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I made a cute little invitation for Isla’s Rapunzel birthday party, inviting her friends to a party at ‘Hutcherson Tower.’  When I read it to Isla, she was quite upset, “But we live in Lebanon and we don’t live in a tower!”

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“I don’t want to get married and be a mom because I don’t want you to be a grandma.  I want you to be my mommy still!”

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Isla was telling me a story about how she took all the purple beads from her friend at school.  So we had a long conversation, trying to put Isla in the shoes of her friend to see how she would feel.  “I would be sad if someone took my beads.  But I’m happy because I took her beads!”

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For those of you who don’t know, Caleb’s mom died a few months after we were married.  Isla knows about her Grandma Jeannine and one day was telling us a story about her that began, “When Daddy’s mommy died on the cross…”

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“Maybe when God gets a changer He can change Daddies into a girl.” (to use the girls’ bathroom)

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“There’s no meat in this oatmeal!  I need meat in it to be strong!”

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Isla was singing a new song from school and I was asking her which teacher taught it to her.  I didn’t recognize the teacher’s name so I was trying to figure out who it was.  Isla explained it was “Miss Carolyn.  The one with the scribble-scrabble hair.”

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Logical conclusions

Logical conclusions

The girls often contort Bible stories they’ve learned into some really funny stories with hilarious applications.

Recently, my two first graders have been talking about how if someone doesn’t have clothes or food and you give them some, it’s like you are feeding and clothing God.  Very Biblical.  Or if you lie to someone, it’s like you are lying to God.  Or if you hit someone you are hitting God.  Sometimes, they get a little carried away… If you study something, you are studying God!  If you forgive someone, you are forgiving God!  Usually I can twist their words a little to make their thoughts correct:  Yes, we should study in a way that brings glory to God.

Other times though, I just have to leave the room so they don’t see me laughing.

Yesterday we were talking about their Sunday school craft… we studying the Parable of the Sower and so they each planted flower seeds.  The girls had thought that their house moms had thrown the flowers out and they were bemoaning the fact.  “Haram!  They shouldn’t have thrown them away!  We worked so hard on them…  That was our craft… It was to help us remember the story… whine whine whine…”

And then this gem:  “Yes, they shouldn’t have thrown them away, because when you throw something away, you throw God away.”

End scene.

From the mouths of kids: the foreigners

From the mouths of kids: the foreigners

Had this conversation with one of the girls recently…

6 year old:  We have a new house and our neighbors are foreigners.

Me:  Really?  Wow!

6yo:  Yeah, they are foreigners and this is how they talk, “blarb glurb bralb blurg.”

Me:  Oh, you know they are probably speaking another language that you just don’t understand.  Like before you knew English and you heard me and Amu Caleb talking, maybe it sounded like that.

6yo:  No, they are really just saying, “blarb glurb bralb blurg.”

Me:  Hmmm.  Maybe they are speaking… German?

6yo:  No.  And you know what else?

Me:  What?

6yo:  (whispering) They eat their poop.

Me:  Now, I know that is not true.  And you shouldn’t say things like that about them.  No people anywhere eat their poop.

6yo:  (big sigh) Miss Nicolette, they are not people.  Didn’t you hear me?  They’re foreigners!

On the girls’ futures

On the girls’ futures

Every once in a while, I get into conversations with the girls about what they want to be when they grow up.  Sometimes it’s to encourage them in their studies, other times to help them dream a bit.

Here’s what we have so far:

When I grow up, I want to…

… be a math-doctor.

… be a teacher.

… be a mom.

… be a dancer.

… be rich.

… go to Disneyland.

… have a store.

… be a Barbie.

 

When I grow up…

When I grow up…

The past couple of days I’ve been chatting with the girls about what they want to be when they grow up.  Most say doctors or teachers.

But Amal told me the other day that she was going to be rich.  I asked her what she was going to do for work to get the money to be rich, and she said nothing, her mom read her hand, and it said she would be rich.  So, we had a little discussion about where money comes from and how if we work hard in school we can grow up to be anything we want to be… a doctor, a teacher, a mommy, a worker in a store…

And today she announced that she knows what she wants to do when she grows up…..

“When I get big, I’m going to Disneyland!”