Isla-isms, the four year old episode

Isla-isms, the four year old episode

My girls are napping, my husband is at a funeral, and I am sitting on the couch with not a whole lot to do for the first time in a long time.  This week has been full of Christmas parties, parent-teacher conferences (times 5!!), work with the girls, and a really great program for young Syrian refugee mothers.  I’m zonked and really looking forward to a bit of a break!

I’ve got about an hour before I need to wake the girls up to get them ready to go to a wedding, and updating the long neglected blog won the lottery of not-quite-but-almost-mindless things I still need to work on.

I’ve got all sorts of posts rolling around in my brain, but I’ll start with the easiest, haha.  It’s been a while since I’ve written about the crazy things our Isla says… and I’m sure you will enjoy ‘listening’ to her and laughing just as much as we do!

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Isla was getting tired of walking and wanted her Daddy to carry her

I don’t want you to put me on your shoulders.  I want to be on your belly and nipples.

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Daddy is a good no-er because he does it louder and angers at her.

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We introduced Isla to prickly pear (a type of cactus) lemonade this summer.  She was a little unsure…

Do we have to be careful when we drink it?

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One morning waiting for Caleb’s sister to drop her baby off for us to take care of…

I don’t want baby Lexi to come over because I can’t focus.  I need to focus on playing with my toys.  But I just love her so much that I want to look at her all day and I can’t focus on playing.

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Isla had two teachers named Miss Rola last year.  She called them the big Miss Rola and the little Miss Rola because one is tall and one is short, but now it’s….

The lower case Miss Rola

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Isla learned a new color in English in school.  But she was pronouncing it with a very heavy Lebanese accent.  I tried to correct her several times, and she got frustrated and told me…

You are from America so you can say it in America language.  But me and Ruby are from Lebanon so we say it in Lebanon language!

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After being reminded (again!) not to correct me

If I was the mommy and you were the little girl, then I would tell you that you should have said…

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Reading the Christmas story…

One insect allowed them to stay the night in his stable

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The Arabic word for rain is “shiteh.”  When Isla doesn’t know the proper grammar rules in Arabic, she applies the ones she knows in English to the Arabic word.  So she wanted to tell Ruby it was raining outside.  Instead of conjugating the word correctly… (you can probably guess where this is going… sorry for the potentially offensive language…..)

Ruby!  It’s shitting outside!

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Again playing school with Ruby

Ruby, say gracias.  It means merci.

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I guess Isla learned about elves at school because she is telling lots of stories about…

Santa and his slaves…

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From the mouth of Isla

From the mouth of Isla

We were having a conversation about my sister getting married…  I told her that when Annelise gets married Colin will be her uncle.

“But I don’t want to get married!  What if he calls me and says, ‘I want to marry you!’

Isla, he doesn’t want to marry you, he loves Annelise.

But I love Annelise!….  That’s okay, aunts don’t get married.

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After seeing a dead mouse on the street…

How did that mouse die?

Maybe it was really sick, maybe a cat got it…

Maybe it died on the cross?  But it’s okay, because when mouses die on the cross, they stay with Jesus!

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I was joking about leaving Isla and Ruby home alone…

We can’t stay here by ourselves, I don’t have big boobies!  But I don’t want big boobies because I don’t want to get married.

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Was baby Lexi (Isla’s new cousin) born on your computer or Daddy’s?

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“Reading”  a book to her sister…

See the gargoyles?  It’s to take the sins away and give them on Jesus’ head.  It’s in this book.

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Her bedtime prayer…

Dear God, please help me not get married…

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In the bathroom washing her hands by herself…

Don’t let Satan poof it out…  (in a deep voice) Hey!  Satan is a boy!  (in a high pitched voice) Oh, hello Satan!

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I like some boys.  Like some of my daddies.

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Isla says

Isla says

I love that show Kids Say the Darndest Things.  Isla would be perfect for it… except that she’s ridiculously shy and definitely wouldn’t answer a strange man’s questions, especially if it involved video cameras.

A few of her latest…

“Boys don’t have to wipe when they go potty.  And some girls have short hair and they don’t wipe.”

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We were having a conversation about how a dog would love to live in our house to eat all the food that falls onto the floor at dinnertime.  “I drop a lot of food and the calculators come and get it!”

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“I can’t reach really high.  We need Jesus.”

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I made a cute little invitation for Isla’s Rapunzel birthday party, inviting her friends to a party at ‘Hutcherson Tower.’  When I read it to Isla, she was quite upset, “But we live in Lebanon and we don’t live in a tower!”

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“I don’t want to get married and be a mom because I don’t want you to be a grandma.  I want you to be my mommy still!”

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Isla was telling me a story about how she took all the purple beads from her friend at school.  So we had a long conversation, trying to put Isla in the shoes of her friend to see how she would feel.  “I would be sad if someone took my beads.  But I’m happy because I took her beads!”

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For those of you who don’t know, Caleb’s mom died a few months after we were married.  Isla knows about her Grandma Jeannine and one day was telling us a story about her that began, “When Daddy’s mommy died on the cross…”

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“Maybe when God gets a changer He can change Daddies into a girl.” (to use the girls’ bathroom)

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“There’s no meat in this oatmeal!  I need meat in it to be strong!”

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Isla was singing a new song from school and I was asking her which teacher taught it to her.  I didn’t recognize the teacher’s name so I was trying to figure out who it was.  Isla explained it was “Miss Carolyn.  The one with the scribble-scrabble hair.”

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More Isla-isms

More Isla-isms

We pretty much spend all day laughing at the things that come out of our 2 year old’s mouth.  Some of the latest:

We were talking about a family that was going to come over for a visit.  Isla has decided she doesn’t really like boys right now, so she told me, “All the Daddies can come over to our house when they are girls!”

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We were walking and Isla was holding my hand and my mom’s hand.  She wanted to hold Caleb’s hand as well…  “I will ask God to get three hands!”

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Caleb: Isla, don’t go close to those wires!

Isla: Because?

C:  …because you will die!

I:  Like Jesus!

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“I like Grandma because you play with me.  And Grandpa Bill.  And cows.”

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About a man walking by:  “Does he have a bottom?”

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“Does Ruby like zucchini?  Maybe some zucchini from your boobies!”

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We took my sister to Jbeil to do some sightseeing.  Isla was actually quite interested in all the ruins.  At one point she told us, “That’s a big hole.  Only Jesus can go in there!”

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Isla-isms

Isla-isms

Isla does not stop talking.  Ever.  She’s pretty funny, but she’s also in this really embarrassing stage where she says exactly what is on her mind.  What can I say, she’s 2 and hasn’t quite learned tact yet.  We’ll be walking down the street and she’ll ask me very loudly, “is that a boy or a girl?”  An old man with a cane was walking towards us and after asking what he was doing, she announced, “I don’t like that man!  He’s not very nice!”  I guess I can be thankful that she’s speaking mostly English.  :)

The other day we were at a cafe for lunch and a group of English speaking students were sitting at the table next to us. One of the girls exclaimed, “oh my God!” at something she saw on the menu, and Isla immediately picked up on it. This is a phrase that Arabic speakers actually use (in English) quite a bit, so it’s been discussed with Isla many many times. So at lunch, Isla says, very loudly, “That girl said ‘oh my God!’” The girl of course heard her and understood and it made for quite the awkward exchange… me trying to use it as a teaching moment for my daughter, but at the same time trying not to make a big deal out of it in front of the girl who said it. I couldn’t help but smile when Isla asked why she said it. I told her that the girl was surprised by something and she replied, “surprised by God?” Sure, baby, surprised by God.

Some of my other favorite Isla-isms from the past few months:

One morning, I found Isla with all her stuffed animals packed inside her jammies.  “I was keeping them safe because Adam and Eve were in my pillow.”  (She does not like Adam and Eve!)

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“I wants Dada.  I was missing him all day!”

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Caleb:  “Are you wimpy?”

Isla: “No.”

Caleb:  “Are you brave?”

Isla:  “No.  I’m just a little girl with lots of owies.”

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I told Isla she couldn’t have any more strawberries.  So she asked to pray.  And prayed, “Dear God, thank you for food, thank you for Jesus…. thank you for these strawberries I’m gonna eat…”

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“The doctor has to open Mommy’s tummy and get the baby out. Because Mommy and Daddy not knows how.”

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Top Ten Isla-isms

Top Ten Isla-isms

Isla actually didn’t really start talking a lot until this summer, when her vocab just exploded.  Now we can’t get her to stop talking.  Like any toddler, she’s had some funny ways of expressing herself, funny pronunciations.

Here are my favorites:

10.  “One two fee dubba vee” (when she was learning to count at the beginning of the summer)

9. Caleb: Does Daddy love you?
Isla: NO!
Caleb: Who loves you?
Isla: Elmo loves you!

8. Isla saw a few minutes of So You Think You Can Dance on TV.  She then wanted to dance and “almost fall down” like the dancers on the show.

7. “Booty bears” (blueberries)

6. “Shoo fly, don bama you” (she thought that meant bug)

5. Waking up crying in the night, “Isla’s room said bonk!”  (I think maybe the neighbors upstairs were moving furniture or something)

4.  She adds “es” to any word to make it plural, including Arabic words: “hillses, bookses”

3. “Throw it up.”  (Blow it out)

2. Caleb: You will find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
Isla: Lion in a manger!  RAWR!

1. While talking about how God is with us when we are afraid (Isla is afraid of the car), “God is not in Mommy and Daddy’s car.  Silly God!”